


The Doctor's Hope

by bruxabrvxa (Mistrust), Mistrust



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Fix-It, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-05 05:51:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistrust/pseuds/bruxabrvxa, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistrust/pseuds/Mistrust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Temporary title] The Doctor's new companion is very moved by some of the Doctor's stories, but she's particularly horrified when she hears about a certain ending that one of his former companions got. Feeling rather indignant, she tries to convince the Doctor to set out on a quest to try and find a way to restore Donna Noble's memories without killing her. Confusion, misfortunes, and cooking contests follows. [non-romantic, non-flirty & very-clumsy OC!]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting Hope

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea born on random chats on tumblr with doctordonna-s and workitmakeit! SO IT'S NOT A FINISHED IDEA! Thank you both, crazy people! <3 Which also means that the title is temporary.

Hope Lightfoot flipped the coin for the third time that day.

 _Tails_.

She sighed and started walking forward in the busy London street. Tails meant she wasn't supposed to spend money taking the tube or the bus. She had been living on the "coin policy", as she called it, for five days now.

She was running out of money and she had no idea what to do.

The people around her rushed past her without glancing twice. She was a very common type: not too beautiful nor ugly, only passable. Her long dark hair was kept on a braid to avoid the windy days -- there had been this one time a few weeks ago when she got her hair stuck on a mailbox and it took all evening to get it free because she refused to let the policeman cut it free. Of course, all her whining didn't do her any good and he cut it anyway.

The mere thought of it made her feel embarrassed, like it had just happened. She shook her head and tried to focus on the path ahead of her.

It was a chilly November day in London, and the heating in her new lodgings wasn't very effective. It was the third time in five months that she had to change hostels. The first one that she stayed in was quite expensive and she soon realised she wasn't made of money, even though she had more money in her pocket than most twenty-something girls.

That didn't make her any better, though. At least they had _jobs_.

It seemed like everybody was able to find a job except her. Hope didn't know how to write a resume and the only place that hired her -- a diner in central London -- soon regretted it.

Because Hope sucked as a waitress. She broke more glasses in one day than any other employee in a month. She was pretty sure she had set a new world record of breaking glasses, but no one rewarded her for that.

She only wished she was a little less clumsy. Oh, that would make so much difference in her life...

Before she could continue her pity-me thoughts, though, someone ran into her with such bluntness that she fell to the ground, a little bewildered.

"Oh, oh, I'm sorry! Here, let me help you, are you okay?"

"Well, as okay as someone who has just been trampled over can be" she couldn't help saying.

"Ah, but see, you're fine" the man smiled a goofy smile at her.

He was wearing a bow tie. A _bow tie_.

She frowned, staring at the weird accessory.

"Hmm... you seem a bit bewildered".

"Hm? Oh, no, no. Fine, see" she waved at him. "Okay, yes, well, thanks--- I mean" she shook her head. _What_ was she saying, for Christ's sake? "See ya" she was finally able to blurb out.

She turned around and kept walking. Something behind her made the weirdest of noises -- a high pitched whirring sound, but only barely noticeable.

"Wait! Wait!" the man in the bow tie screamed at her, and she turned to him once again.

"What? What?" she asked, nervously, taking a step backwards and looking around. There was plenty of people. But would any of them help her if she screamed "psycho maniac"?

"You... you!" he was pointing a sort of thick metal pen-thingy with a green light on top at her. And that thing was making the noise.

" _What?!_ " she insisted, more confused than nervous now.

He recoiled the pen-thingy with a quick motion of his hands and squinted his eyes, looking at her. "You don't happen to have had any strange contact with a mailbox, have you?"


	2. Alien in the Alley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll get to Donna on the next chapter. Meanwhile, enjoy a bit of their first meeting. :)

That's how it started, Hope Lightfoot and the Doctor.

Back then, if someone had told her that she'd be travelling through time and space with an alien with two hearts in a spaceship that looked like a police box but that was bigger on the inside... Well, they wouldn't even finish that sentence, because Hope would have turned around and walked away, outraged that they were trying to make a fool of her.

And yet, there she was.

"Hold on, Hope!" screamed the Doctor, as he fumbled with the TARDIS console and everything around them spun and quacked.

"That's all I've been doing!" she screamed back, holding on to the nearest railing for dear life.

And down they went through the Time Vortex, onto their next adventure.

***

"What do you mean, a _scout_?" she insisted, fishing out one of the few words she understood from the man's long speech about how mailboxes were going to take over the world and everything depended on Hope pointing the threatening thing that grabbed her hair to him.

She still wasn't sure why she didn't just burst into laughter and walked away from him. Maybe it was the bow tie. Maybe it was out of desperation. God knows how desperate she was. Hope was supposed to be in Istanbul by now. And yet, she was stuck in London, jobless and almost penniless.

_Great way to prove yourself to your family, Hope Lightfoot. Just great,_ she thought to herself.

"It's kind of a spy robot, see... a cyberscout! Like a scout, but cybermen-made" he tried to explain, while walking fast paced in front of her and meddling with his pen-thingy. She didn't understand a word he said. "I shouldn't even be telling you that, it's like, top-secret, my eyes only, ASAP..." he mumbled, very focused on his little prop. "But it doesn't matter, really, nobody ever believes me anyway" he quickly turned to her and smiled "But everyone has been very helpful".

_Like me_ , she thought.

Hope stopped at a street corner and watched him walk forward by his own as he spoke: "They sent these scouts to analyse the area and plan their attack, and, oh, they've become very patient, very meticulous, I still haven't figured out how..." when he realised he was walking alone and talking to himself, the man turned, searching for the dark haired girl.

She was still standing on the street corner. "Oh" he frowned. "Hello"

Hope disguised her impatience in a smile. "Hi" she replied, and then motioned both hands in the direction of a side alley. "This way" she said, arching her eyebrows at his hyperactivity.

"Of course" he gave her another queasy smile and walked past her into the alley.

Hope rolled her eyes. Yep. Desperation, most definitely.

The alleyway was empty. The bookshop that Hope was visiting the day her hair got stuck in the mailbox was closed, and she frowned, because it was Wednesday afternoon, but dismissed the thought. The crazy bloke in a bow tie was more of immediate concern.

"So which one is it?" he asked, looking around.

"The _only_ one" she pointed out, as he made an "a-ha" sound and went to analyse the plain, boring mailbox, standing on the street walk.

Hope crossed her arms and watched him circle it once, twice, thrice times, while pointing his whizzing thingy at it. He would make a full circle then look at the thingy. And then he would do it again.

_Leave_ , her conscience told her. _Leave now, you already pointed the mailbox to him, he's definitely a crackpot, let him be with his craziness._

She shrugged to herself. If he really was a crackpot, he needed help. And he didn't look like a beggar or anything. Maybe he escaped from somewhere, maybe he had a family desperately looking for him. Maybe he was as lost as she was. He seemed pretty harmless so far, and Hope knew for a fact that she could put up a fight with a bloke as skinny as him. God knows how many boys' noses she broke along her high school years.

She couldn't just _leave_ him. "So... What's your name?"

He was kneeling in front of the mailbox, staring at it. "Oh!" he got up with a jump, which half-startled Hope. "I'm sorry, how rude! I'm the Doctor!" he went to grab her by the shoulders and fake-kiss her in both cheeks.

"The _Doctor_?" she asked again, unsure. His attitude, his self-title... What sort of crazy was he?

"Yes, the Doctor. You?"

Yup, a crackpot.

She stared at him, agape. "I'm Hope". He was a good reminder that there were people in worst situations than hers.

His face lighted up in a smile. "Oh but that's an _amazing_ name!" The Doctor turned to the mailbox, back to work. "Hope!" he said, impressed. "I've just encountered Hope! Ha!" he laughed at himself.

Hope cringed. There were few things in life that she like less than her name. "Yeah... You can call me Maria".

He turned to her, his brow furrowed in confusion and a bit of indignation. "But why would I do that? You said your name was Hope. It's an amazing name".

"Well, I beg to differ. Maria is my middle name. It's what most people call me".

He was already looking at his noisy little thingy, with a half-opened mouth, very concentrated. "Good thing that I'm not even people, then" he mumbled.

"Excuse me?" she raised an eyebrow.

He turned to her in a very fluid, quick way and smiled. "Well, Hope! I really appreciate your help! This mailbox is now officially deactivated thanks to you! It was the last one on a long string of scouts that I've been dismantling lately!" he turned to the mail box and gave it a little slap. "I don't know why it was off my radar, though" he added.

Hope shook her head. "Look, erm... Do you know where you live?"

The Doctor looked at her and frowned. "Of course I know where I live. What kind of man doesn't know where he lives?"

"Good! That's -- that's really good!" she said, giving him the lamest and uncalled for "thumbs up". Man, was she awkward.

"Why do you ask?"

"Um, I, ah" she scratched her head. She had never had to deal with this sort of situation before. What was one supposed to do when meeting a mentally ill person wandering about in the street?

_Call the coppers_ , _you moron,_ she thought. _Of course_ , she rolled her eyes at her own thickness. _But..._ she kept thinking, _but he knows where he lives, maybe I can just escort him there._ Hope really didn't want to talk to the cops.

The said "Doctor" was still waiting for her answer. She shrugged. "I, I could walk you there, you know... Just, just to be sure".

The Doctor kept frowning at her, confused. "Sure of what, exactly?"

"You know, that you get home safe..."

The Doctor's face grew worried and confused, and he spun around, as if he couldn't think and stand still at the same time. "That's really, really nice of you, you know, but I think I can find---"

_WHAM!_

He didn't finish his sentence, because just then a huge robotic _tentacle_ whacked him off of his feet and left him bewildered against the wall. The thing was coming out of the mailbox.

_Holy-crap-he's-telling-the-truth_ was the first thought in her mind.

"DOCTOR!" Hope screamed, trying very hard not to freak out at the sight of a giant robot tentacle squirming in front of her. There was an injured human being at stake. "DOCTOR!" she called out again, and attempted to run in his direction, only to be tackled by the tentacle as well. She wind up smashing against the bookshop window, but she didn't crash through it. The robot thing was huge, but the swing it took at her wasn't as powerful as she had expected.

"HOPE!" she heard the Doctor's voice, which was a relief by itself. He was alive. "Don't move, Hope! It's motion sensitive!" he warned her, and Hope stayed very still in her awkward sprawled position on the ground. "You can speak though!" he shouted.

Hope could hear his little prop making those high-pitched noises. "It's a _tentacle_!" she screamed, mortified. "A robot tentacle!", she was staring at it, it was moving in front of her... And yet Hope couldn't quite believe it.

"I _told_ you! A robot _alien_ tentacle!" he warned her.

"A _robot alien tentacle!_ " she repeated, mortified in her disbelief. She was trying to convince herself that she wasn't hallucinating.

"Yeah, I know!" he said in reply.

"I thought you said you disarmed it or whatever!" she screamed back, barely blinking, afraid that the robot thing would find her.  The tentacle was just slowly swaying around now.

"Well, I thought I did!" he replied. "I but I guess this one is an upgrade, that's probably the reason why it was off my radar! I've just made it slower, not disarmed it completely. I just need to get the settings on the sonic screwdriver to the right levels and---"

"STOP TALKING TO ME AND DO IT!" she screamed when the tentacle coming out of the otherwise harmless mailbox approached her, as if it could _sniff_ her or something.

"Hold on! Hold on!" she heard him shout. "Erm, erm... I need a distraction! Otherwise I won't be able to move my hands, the sonic is a few feet away from me!"

Hope closed her eyes. That couldn't _possibly_ be happening. Not for real. She was dreaming. That was it. _Dreaming_.

And she couldn't die in a dream, she decided.

"Alright" she replied, taking a deep breath and preparing to run. " _Geronimo_!" she screamed as she dashed to the other side of the alley, feeling all her bones and bruised muscles protest. She was whacked once again by the robotic tentacle, and fell face-flat against the ground. "DID YOU GET IT?" Hope asked, after inhaling deeply. Her whole body was hurting.

From her perspective, she couldn't see the robotic tentacle anymore -- it was behind her. And she also couldn't see the Doctor.

"DOCTOR?!" she screamed.

Hope heard a wheezing sound and everything went very still around her.

"It's alright, you can move now" she heard the Doctor saying. Still a little scared, Hope ventured turning her head.

The Doctor was standing a few feet away, with his sonic-whatever in one hand, staring at the robotic thing, which was lying lifeless on the ground.

Hope let out a sigh of relief and waited to wake up.

Nothing happened. She was still lying in the middle of a London alley.

"I said, 'you can move now'" the Doctor insisted.

She got up very quickly, as if to compensate her initial unresponsiveness. Hope stared at him as the Doctor circled around the robotic tentacle and with a flash of the sonic screwdriver thing, it retracted to the mailbox once again.

It was as if it had never been there.

If Hope wasn't feeling so bruised and battered, she would've argued against her better judgment that it was really all an hallucination, but the bruises and the pain left little room for self-doubt.

The Doctor tilted his head to one side and looked at her, still sitting on the ground. "Are you alright?"

Hope felt a little deja vù. That was how he first encountered her: bewildered on the ground. Back then she was pretty sure of the world around her. Now, not so much.

"A gigantic... robot... _tentacle_ " she repeated to herself, very slowly, still not quite believing it.

"Yeah, I know, very impressive, right?" he looked around. "Anyway, I was impressed! All gone now. It's all fine, as it should be", he added, reassuring, wiggling his eyebrows.

"No".

The Doctor frowned at her. "No?"

"No, it's not".

He scratched the back of his head, a little worried. "I know, big reality shock, but really, you..."

" _No_ ", Hope shushed him with her stern voice tone. "The bookshop", she said, slowly getting up and looking at the darkened bookshop.

The Doctor turned to stare at the shop's façade. "What about it?" he asked.

"Why is it closed on a Wednesday afternoon?" she inquired.

"Oh" the Doctor's sudden realisation pleased Hope. "Why, indeed..." he murmured, approaching the glass door with the "closed" sign hanging from the inside.

"Can it be more of that thing inside?" Hope whispered, without even realised that she was whispering.

"No, but a control room, yes" the Doctor replied, also whispering. He then stopped and turned to her. "I'm very impressed, by the way".

"Really?" she tried to hold back the smile that wanted to creep up on her face.

"Yes, you said 'geronimo'!" he nodded at her, approvingly.

"Oh" that wasn't exactly what Hope was expecting.


	3. Adrift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the betterment of continuity, Clara Oswald does not exist here and I'm officially calling this an AU fanfic. This takes place after the Ponds, obviously, but without the mystery of Clara. I really wish I could write this with Twelve, but I'm not going there while we don't know who he really is.
> 
> Also, this has not been proof read. I am not a native English speaker. Bear with my mistakes.

At the end of that first day, the Doctor and Hope had found the control room of the cybermen along with their hostages -- the two employees of the bookshop and its owner, one Mr. Bell. They had scanned the whole great London area and disabled all the upgraded mailboxes (not before running against time when the Doctor's first attempt resulted in a countdown to self-detonation). They also had been kidnapped to the cybermen spaceship, ran for dear life while Hope screamed "WE ARE IN SPACE! IN SPACE!", then, the Doctor reversed the polarity of the teletransportation device and they were back to Earth. And of course, as much as he tried, he couldn't make the cybermen turn around and leave, so they ultimately blew up the entire spaceship into smithereens.

That had been one hell of a day for Hope Lightfoot.

It was night by the time they were back on Earth, and after checking up on Mr. Bell and his employees, Hope insisted that they needed some fish and chips. She didn't have to ask twice -- the Doctor was all for it.

They walked through the chilly night holding their food close to their chest, while the Doctor complimented her for her bravery and quick thinking and Hope wondered who exactly was that man standing beside her.

They had ultimately ended up in a street corner, where a battered blue police box was standing, and that was when it happened.

The fish and chips was all gone by then, and the Doctor made a 360 degree turn on his heels, very cheerfully, clapped his hands together and pointed them at Hope.

"So, Hope..." he stopped for a bit. "Wait, let me do this properly. What's your last name?"

"Lightfoot" she answered, a bit confused, but thrilled nonetheless.

"Hope Lightfoot!" he clapped his hands together once again, delighted. "So, Hope Lightfoot, I have a question for you".

Hope raised an eyebrow. "Go on", she said.

"Would you, by any chance, be willing to travel with me?" he asked, a huge goofy smile on his face, his eyes bright as the stars.

"Travel? Where?" she wasn't about to say no right away. God knows that the main reason she wasn't in her hometown was that she had told everybody that she didn't need any of that and she was going to travel through Europe all by herself, thank you very much. And that's how Hope got stuck in London. She had never meant to be that way. So if a man who accidentally took you to space asks if you want to travel, you at least wait for him to explain himself.

"Yes, travel!" he leaned on the old fashioned police box.

"In space, you mean?" she asked, tentatively. She didn't want to get her hopes up.

He gave her a knowing smile. "Oh, but it's so much more than that".

"You have your own spaceship?" she asked, excited. "Your very _own_ spaceship?"

"Of course I do, what kind of alien do you take me for?" he replied.

It was Hope's turn to make a 360 degree turn on her heels. "Oh my god! Yes! Wait, wait, hold on". Hope shook her head, confused. "You're an _alien_?" she gave a once over. _Alien?_

"Well, of course", he replied, adjusting his bow tie.

"An alien in a bow tie?"

"Something wrong?" Hope could see that he was getting a bit cross at her.

She shrugged. "Can't get any weirder than that, I suppose", and she accepted it. If a giant robotic alien tentacle could crawl out of a mailbox, he might as well be an alien in a bow tie.

The Doctor laughed. "So?" he insisted.

"Yes! Yes! Of course! Where's your spaceship? There'll be like a beam me up light so we can get on board?" she asked, looking up in the night sky.

"Ah, none of that..." and upon Hope's disappointed face, he added: "But fear not, you will _be_ amazed!"

"How do we get there?" she kept asking, looking up in the sky.

"Through the door", he answered, and snapped his fingers.

To Hope's surprise, the police box's door opened, and a faint yellow light tinted the sidewalk.

"What is it?" Hope asked, wary. She was standing beside the police box and couldn't see what was inside it.

The Doctor just gave her a sheepish smile. "It's my spaceship".

"A tiny police box?", she asked, sceptical and just a bit disappointed. They couldn't possibly travel in _that_.

"Oh, but Hope Lightfoot", he approached her, putting an arm around her shoulders, and squeezing her reassuringly. "Hasn't anyone ever told you? Don't judge a box by its size" he said, lightly pulling her in the direction of the opened door.

And that was her very first encounter with the TARDIS.

Needless to say how that came about. She ran inside the TARDIS, then outside, then stared at it for a good while, and then circled it again. The Doctor watched her, delighted.

***

Now, as they bounced inside the TARDIS, several months after that very first encounter, Hope already felt very at home, despite the Doctor's crazy driving skills. She liked the TARDIS, and she had the suspicion that it liked her as well.

"DOCTOR!" Hope screamed once again. The quacking and rumbling was taking far too long this time. "WHAT IS GOING ON! WHY HAVEN'T WE LANDED YET!"

"IT SEEMS THAT AUSTRALIA IN 1974 HAS A SMALL TIME GLITCH!" he yelled in response, while the TARDIS turned about and wheezed. In a quick motion, the TARDIS cart wheeled. "DID I SAY SMALL?", added the Doctor, grabbing on to the console for dear life.

"BUT YOU PROMISED A SUNNY BEACH MONTHS AGO!" she demanded. That would be the third time they tried a trip to said sunny beach, and it appeared that it would be yet another failed attempt.

The first two times the Doctor promised to take her, he proposed alien beaches, in dreamy sunny planets, and in both times they wind up fighting against dark forces that wanted to either a) enslave an entire planet or b) implode the entire planet. And none of them had beaches.

This time, though, as the Doctor went on about floating islands and crystal clear cascades, Hope had interrupted his ramblings and simplified her request -- going to another planet hadn't pan out very well so far, so she chose a very earthling setting: Australia.

But apparently, nothing was as simple with the Doctor (and not that Hope considered time travel as simple).

She lost her grip on the railing and fell on to the floor, quickly grabbing the console. The Doctor fussed about in the console as well, babbling Time science. The TARDIS made the weirdest of noises and the console sparkled and whined, and that told Hope what she needed to know: they were never going to Australia in the seventies.

"DOCTOR!" she yelled, very cross at him, even though this wasn't entirely his fault.

"I KNOW!" he screamed back. She wanted so badly to go to a beach, and he kept going to the wrong places at the wrong time.

And then, out of a sudden, they stopped.

Just like that, they stopped. The TARDIS went very quiet and very still. There was no sound but her usual humming and no motion whatsoever.

Hope got up from the ground and looked at the Doctor. "What did you do?", she asked, a bit worried. The only time she heard the TARDIS go as quiet as that was when the Doctor himself was asleep -- which wasn't as often as one would imagine. Hope had some serious insomnia, and after a few months virtually living inside the TARDIS, she became very aware of some fun facts about it. For instance, the TARDIS itself was always a little noisy when the Doctor was awake, even if he pretended to be asleep in his bedroom. That's how she knew he was actually sleeping, when the TARDIS went very, very still and the humming very, very subtle.

That was what was happening, except the Doctor wasn't asleep.

"I didn't do anything" replied the Doctor, as confused as Hope.

"Then _what_ is happening?" she inquired.

"I have no idea" he mumbled, and started typing away in one of the TARDIS keyboard. "Let me see... Aha!" he exclaimed, turning to Hope.

"What?" she asked, expectantly.

"We're stuck".

"What do you mean, 'stuck'?"

"Stuck as in 'we cannot move'"

"I _know_ what 'stuck' means, Doctor..."

"Then why did you ask?"

" _Doctor..._ " she said, as a matter of warning. Her patience was running thin.

"We're stuck in the Time Vortex... The TARDIS must've hit something quite big while travelling through it and now she's recalibrating... It can take a while until we can go anywhere. From the time being, we're adrift".

"Adrift?"

"Yep. In the Time Vortex".

She stared at him, agape. "Does that happen? Getting stuck in a time vortex?"

"As a matter of fact, no, it doesn't" he replied, swinging around in his usual manner, hit this and that button, pulling a lever, until he reached his cushioned chair and sat down. He took a pocket book from inside his jacket and opened it. "I suggest you occupy yourself. This can take a while".

"How long?" Hope asked. She didn't like the idea of being stuck anywhere, really, let alone in someplace she didn't know... whatsoever. If there was anything to know, actually.

"No long" replied the Doctor. "We're in the Time Vortex, Hope. This is no time and no place".

"But... I can feel time passing" she insisted, looking at the TARDIS door.

"I know. Book?" he offered, wiggling his eyebrows.

Hope sighed. That was going to be a long no-time.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said that we would get to Donna in this chapter, but things didn't pan out as expected. Their talk was postponed to the next one (FOR REAL!). =P


	4. The Doctor's Stories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance if this chapter sounds a bit contrived. I really struggled to write this bit. It was harder than I expected!

 

"How long has it been?" Hope asked, lying with her back flat against the TARDIS floor. She didn't even care.

"I told you---"

"No-long, _I know_ " she rolled over and looked up at him. He was still reading that goddamn book. "But still..." she whined. Hope felt like a 5 year-old in a very long and dull car trip. "I didn't sign up for this".

The Doctor gave a half-smile at that and closed his book. "We have lots to do! No time can be an awful lot of time! What do you say?" he asked, jumping up from his seat and twirling around the TARDIS console. "We can play chess!"

"I don't know how to play chess!"

He did a 360 degree turn on his heels. "We can _learn_ how to play chess!" And winked at his own smart-ass comment.

Hope just laid there, with her chin propped up on her hands. "Uninteresting" she replied, defeated.

"We can compose an opera!"

"Dull..."

"Write a novel!"

"Boooring!"

"Do some knitting!"

"No way, grandma!"

"Paint a portrait!"

"Already did, remember?" and she pointed at the freshly painted portrait of the Doctor that she had been working on. The title was "The Doctor Reads".

"Oh, yeah, you did. Nice job, by the way!" he winked at her. She liked watercolour, and so did the Doctor. The first days of Hope inside the TARDIS were quite pleasant -- the Doctor took her to meet William Blake and Turner, two of Hope's favourites watercolour artists. And it was also during that first adventure that Hope lost her long braid. Long story short, she thought it was wiser to have short hair -- god knows where else the Doctor would take her. Her long hair could be a disadvantage.

Hope rolled over and got up. "Seriously, Doctor... Just..."

"Yes?"

"I don't know..." she shrugged, struggling with her words.

"What?" inquired the Doctor, curious.

Hope was fidgeting. "Well..."

" _What?_ " insisted the Doctor.

"Tell me a story".

The Doctor frowned, but didn't hesitate: "Well, once upon a time there was a bear family..."

"No, Doctor!" she interrupted him, crossing her arms. "You know what I mean".

"What _do_ you mean, Hope Lightfoot?"

"A _story_. One of _your_ stories. The ones you don't tell me about".

It was the Doctor's turn to cross his arms and mumbled: "I always tell you my stories, Hope".

"No, Doctor. You just babble about them. You don't tell me things, you never do. Like, where did you meet Professor River Song? And what happened to Amy and Rory, or Rose and Sarah Jane? And why you never let me introduce you as my mate?" The Doctor bit his lower lip and looked down. "See, you don't really say anything... And there are people you don't even talk about! The TARDIS showed them to me once..."

"Did she?" he looked at the TARDIS console, a bit surprised. "You bad girl..." he admonished  her.

"Well?" Hope insisted.

"Hope, they're all---"

"' _Fine_ ', I know. I _know_ they're fine, but that's pretty much _all_ I know. It seems that's the only thing they are, after all".

The Doctor reclined against the TARDIS console and frowned at Hope, still with his arms crossed. He was clearly uncomfortable, and Hope could read the worry and the sadness in the lines of his young yet ancient face. "Why the sudden interest, Hope?"

She was still sitting on the floor, like a child looking up at their parent. "I've always been interested, Doctor... You were the one who always changed the subject, whenever I asked".

He bit his lower lip and looked down at his own shoes. His next words were spoken in a very low, very sharp voice. "I told you, there were many people travelling with me during the years... But it ended" he looked down at her. "What could you possibly learn from my stories?"

"Well, how _I_ will end up, for instance" she said, truthfully.

The Doctor grunted and turned around, gripping the TARDIS console. "I _hate_ endings!"

"Figured that much" replied Hope. "Doctor..." she pleaded. "I bet you'd feel better if you talked to someone".

"Don't justify your curiosity, Hope Lightfoot" he warned, turning back to look at her. He wasn't mad. He was just... disappointed? Was that disappointment in his eyes? With himself?

_Ouch_ , she thought. "Alright, then. Yes, I'm curious. But don't you think my curiosity is legit?"

The Doctor let out a unhappy growl, fidget on his feet, and sat down on the floor, facing Hope. "Alright, then. But don't you go thinking that I'll answer _all_ of your questions or anything like that... Just some things", he warned.

"Sounds fair to me" she replied, trying to hold back her excitement. She knew that the Doctor's past was painful, so she felt awkward that she was basking on his misery to a certain degree. But it wasn't as if Hope wanted to know for the sake of knowing. She wanted to _understand_ him and, more than that, she wanted to know if she could help him in any way. He had already done so much for her, and she felt so small and insignificant sometimes, while standing beside that wonderful man with so much knowledge and who had done her so much good. What could she possibly do to return all his favours?, she wondered.

The soothing humming of the TARDIS was still very faint, which meant she was still recalibrating... And that could take forever, as far as Hope was concerned.

"Ask away" he said, leaning back against the console.

"You said you had a family back on Gallifrey".

The Doctor looked at her.

And that was all he did. Hope could see it in his eyes: "don't go there". She dropped the subject. "Where is Rose, exactly? You told me she had gone away, and that you could never meet again... But _where_ is she?"

"A parallel world" he answered quickly.

"Wow".

"I know".

"Did you, like... Were you...?" she was embarrassed to ask. She didn't see the Doctor as someone who could have relationships. It was weird to imagine him romantically involved with anyone besides the TARDIS.

"Yes" he answered with hesitation. "Yes, we were".

"And will you ever see her again?"

"No".

His answers were almost emotionless now. "Would you _want_ to see her again?"

"No".

"Alright then..." and she sighed. Was it always like that? When her time came, when she went away, would the Doctor not want to see her as well? "Do you check on any of the people you leave behind?"

"I didn't leave all of them behind. A lot of them left me".

She shook her head, finding it difficult to accept that. "Some _left_ you? How could anyone _leave_ this?" and she gestured in the general direction of the TARDIS around her, sceptical. The only way she'd leave the TARDIS would be if she died or if someone locked her away.

The Doctor smiled a sad smile. "For plenty of reasons..."

"Would you want them to come back?"

"Oh, god, no" he replied quickly.

"Not a single one?"

"Why would I? There's plenty of people to meet and..."

"Liar".

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"What would be the point, Hope?" he asked her, and this time, he genuinely wanted an answer. He wanted her to tell him a good reason, so he could pursue the idea.

But Hope didn't have an answer for that. She didn't know what would be the point of that as well. "Not Rose, granted, she's in another universe, but the others... Maybe you could just, you know, drop by, visit them..." she thought for a second. "Why don't we go visit the Ponds? You said they were like family to you!" she said, in an attempt to cheer him up a bit. She could feel his mood quickly descending into a pit of self commiseration, and she was starting to regret her curiosity.

"Can't. They're stuck in a time glitch, I can never go there".

"Oh" Hope felt like she had been stabbed in the guts. "What about..."

"No, Hope, stop it" the Doctor was fed up. "They're gone, for one reason or another, and I don't have the right to pop into their lives again and mess it up _again_. They came, we had adventures, and they went. That's it".

"Is that how is going to be with me, then? I'm here, we have adventures... Until, what? Until you find someone else, fresher and brighter? Until I marry someone? And that would be it, I'd never see you again in my life?"

He gave her a sideways glance, but he didn't deny anything that she said. He just stood there, waiting for her next question. Hope felt like descending into that same pit of self commiseration as the Doctor.

"Who is Donna Noble, Doctor?" she asked. She had been meaning to ask that since the beginning, but didn't expect to see the Doctor so sad when she mentioned that name.

The TARDIS had shown her a lot of the Doctor's companions, and at that time, Hope knew almost all of them by name, at least the most recent ones. The Doctor had told stories where he mentioned Rose, and Martha Jones (who she knew was working for UNIT), Mickey, the Ponds, River Song, Captain Jack Harkness, even the unfortunate story of one Adam, who turned out to be trouble. From recent years, she recognised the names as the TARDIS screened them for her... That is, up until Donna Noble's face and name appeared. Hope didn't remember the Doctor mentioning her. Not once, and that intrigued Hope to no end.

The Doctor gave a sad smile. "She was the one who called me Spaceman" he said, and Hope remembered him mentioning a couple of times a friend who did so. "She went to the Oodsphere with me, and remember when I told you about Agatha Christie? She was there, too".

"Well... Did she... Died?"

"No, she's alive and well. Very rich now, living with a lovely husband on Earth".

"Hmm" she mumbled, a bit confused. "That sounds nice".

"Yeah, it does" but the Doctor couldn't sound more miserable when telling a happy ending.

"So why you never mentioned her? What happened?"

"Nothing happened" he replied, getting up from the floor and circling the console, as if he was checking up on the TARDIS readings. "Not in her point of view, anyway" he mumbled, gloomily.

"Wait" Hope knew she was getting somewhere here, and she wasn't as excited as she thought she would be. She was feeling dread instead of joy. "What does that mean, 'not in her point of view'? Who was she, Doctor? What happened to her?"

He sighed. "She was my best friend... And, at least in a way, she died for me". The deep sound of sorrow filled the Doctor's voice.

"Did she... betray you or something?"

"No, nothing of the sort".

"Did you have an argument, did she kill an innocent?"

"No, no..."

"Did she abandon you?"

"Not at all" he replied, all the while not looking Hope in the eyes. "She was my best friend, Hope. We had the best of times, and she understood me like nobody else did. She helped me in so many ways... She was brilliant".

"Doctor!" Hope was getting impatient. "What _happened_ to her? What could possibly happen for you to leave such a wonderful person behind?"

The Doctor made an enormous effort to raise his head and look Hope in the eyes. He was drowning in sorrow, and Hope could only watch. "I did".


	5. Like Destiny

The TARDIS finished calibrating with a loud bang and the Doctor didn't stop for a second after that -- pulled a few levers, pressed some buttons, gave the console a gentle slap and off they went through the time vortex, and this time the Doctor was shouting about a planet called Serenity where you could hear the trees singing -- since they seemed to always find trouble every time they tried to go to the beach, he decided that it was best if they avoided it.

When Hope brought up the subject of Donna, the Doctor agreed to talk about it. As time passed them by, filled with stories of Donna Noble, Hope realised that he actually really liked to talk about her -- that was, up until he finished the story of the day. Then he'd get this sad expression on his face, of pure hopelessness and something else -- something that Hope could only identify as guilt.

They went to Serenity, and accidentally back in time to Earth in the year 42, and forwards in time to the 45th century, to visit the University of Mars, where a strange being was causing pandemonium. All the while the Doctor told Hope about his adventures with Donna, and how much she grew as person and how much he confided on her judgment and brilliance.

He told her about the first time they met -- she was zapped into the TARDIS, as unlikely as that sounded. "I had never met anyone _inside_ the TARDIS before" the Doctor told Hope. "You don't meet new people inside the TARDIS. You meet them outside and then bring them inside. I guess... Yes, she was the first human being to ever see the inside of my ship before the outside" he pondered, as if he had just realised that.

While they were in a dungeon in the year 42, he told Hope about how he came to meet Donna's granddad, and how she found him, for a second time.

"My god, Doctor!" exclaimed Hope, as she fumbled with her chains in order to get to the Doctor's sonic screwdriver tucked away from his reach inside his jacket. "This woman is completely impossible!"

"Not impossible" he corrected her, hanging from his tied up arms. "Just a bit unlikely".

Hope found herself enthralled by Donna's stories, mainly because of the way the Doctor talked about her. He seemed to admire her so much, and she loved every time the Doctor complained that she was too loud, or when she slapped him, or when she would argue with him and refuse to take orders. Hope found herself becoming a fan of the woman.

In the University of Mars, where they spent over two months tracking down the mysterious alien (and where, for the first time in her life, Hope Lightfoot was a college girl), the Doctor told her about the Oodsphere, this time in more details, and about Pompeii. His voice quivered while talking about their final act inside the Vesuvius, but he kept talking like it wasn't a big deal.

That story in particular Hope listened very silently and very carefully, and by the end of it, when his sad and guilty expression had settled and he said goodnight to her, Hope was pretty sure that he wouldn't have been able to cope with that if it weren't for Donna.

The Doctor retold the vague story he had mentioned to her a couple of times before, about the time he met Agatha Christie, and also about the ATMOS and Sontarans. While tracking down the shadowy alien through the Martian night in the University, Hope was shivering with fear -- she hated dark places.

"Oh, but we're pretty safe in Mars, Hope" the Doctor told her. "Whatever this thing is, it's not Vashta Nerada. _Then_ you should be afraid".

"Vashta Nerada?" asked Hope, raising an eyebrow. They were underground the University, tracking a glowing goo that the Doctor detected early that day.

"Oh, yes. That is the reason behind your fear" he said. "I fought them once. Donna was there too, in the Library".

"The Library?"

"The biggest library in the universe... That was when I first met Professor Song", and he started telling her about it, up until something exploded behind them.

Later that day, he continued his tale about the silent Library and the Vashta Nerada.

They were still in Mars by the time he told Hope about the Time Beetle that got itself attached to Donna's back, and how it had created an entire parallel world around her.

They were heading off from Mars (actually, "running away" would the adequate term) when Hope felt that the Doctor's stories about Donna were coming to an end. He was telling her about the day the Earth was taken across the Universe, the day she had seen all those planets up in the sky. Hope remembered that day vividly. She hid from the daleks in a dumpster. Those were the most uncomfortable and agonising hours of her life.

"What happened, then?" asked Hope, without elaborating her question: the Doctor understood her perfectly well.

The Doctor gave Hope a sad smile. "She became me".

"She what?" Hope raised an eyebrow, feeling very confused.

"She became..." and he sighed, letting go of the TARDIS and sitting on his pilot chair that he rarely used. "Hope..." he whispered, still rubbing his face with both hands. "There's a reason why I don't talk about the past, you know", and he looked up to the TARDIS ceiling, and closed his eyes, as if something was hurting him. "It's too... _present_ for me. And I have to keep moving forward... If I stop..." and he chuckled in a very self-loathing way. "If I stop, Hope, to think of all the things and the people that went away, for one reason or another..."

"I know, I know" Hope said, trying a soothing tone. She did know. And yet, there she was, demanding of him a story that was clearly too painful to be remembered. "I'm sorry" she whispered, feeling powerless and a bit stupid.

"No, don't be" the Doctor mumbled, suddenly regaining some stamina. "You're right. I mean... It's the very least I can do for her. I _have_ to remember her, more than anyone else".

"Doctor..." Hope attempted, hiding her question behind his name.

"She got trapped in the TARDIS... I mean" he looked around. "The TARDIS wouldn't let her come out when we arrived at the Crucible, and while it was sent down to be burned at the core of the ship, Donna... She suffered a biological metacrisis, when she touched my hand, overloaded with regeneration energy".

"And what does that mean?"

"It means she became me. Much like the Doctor who was grown from that hand was part human, part Time Lord... So was her".

"Wait" Hope mumbled, a bit confused. "You're telling me you've got a human clone wandering around that was grown from a severed hand?"

"Well, yes, but he's not wandering around... not here..." the Doctor looked pained.

"Then where?"

"Hope, please. That's another story" and she could see that even though he didn't say it, she knew it was another _painful_ story.

"She saved us, you know. All of us. The entire universe" he said, a glimpse of pride in his old eyes. "With her human imagination combined with my Time Lord knowledge, Donna Noble defeated the daleks single handed and restored the planets back to their place".

"Doctor..." Hope whispered, genuinely impressed. "But if she became a Time Lady... You were not alone".

The Doctor was looking down at his hands, and he didn't reply to that. "But you see... A human mind with a Time Lord consciousness..." He looked up at her. "I had to erase it".

Hope didn't quite understand. "So you erased the Time Lord consciousness from her? And she went back home?"

He shook his head. "There was no way I could do this... I had to erase _her_. Everything. Me". The Doctor was torn in a million pieces and Hope could see it as clear as day.

"Oh god", exclaimed Hope, taking a step back, putting one hand over her mouth. "You erased _her memories_? Everything that you told me?"

"Yes".

"She doesn't remember you?"

"No"

"She's back to who she was, she lost years of her life?"

"Yes..."

"You _erased_ _her?_ "

"She'd burn up, Hope. She would have died!"

"Did she _ask_ you to do it?"

"No, but she would've..."

"Did she _agree_ to that?"

"Hope, you don't understand--"

" _Doctor_ , what did she say?"

The Doctor let out a heavy breath, closed his eyes, opened them again. _Guilt_.

"She said she didn't want to go back".

Hope didn't say anything. She had thought so. God knows that if it had been Hope standing there and having to choose between dying and forgetting the Doctor, oh, god knows...

She looked at the Doctor, slumped down in his seat, with misty eyes, and a defeated, tired, guilty aura looming over him. Hope looked at him and tried really hard not to judge him or get mad at him, because that was the last thing the Doctor needed right now. And yet, she couldn't help but be outraged.

He had ignored Donna's plea, his best friend, the woman who saved the whole creation, who was drawn to him as if by destiny, he had _ignored_ her and robbed her of deciding her own fate. He had bluntly taken away her power over her own life and decided for her... by _erasing_ who she had become.

Hope looked down at the floor. "Can you take me home?" she whispered, feeling those big sad eyes looming over her.

"Do you really want me to?"

"Yes, please".

"Hope..."

"Please, Doctor" she looked up at him. "Take me home".


End file.
